Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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