whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
