Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize