a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Best friends brother. Beat that.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
