how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize