I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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