I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
