Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
