Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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