giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
