She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
