So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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