I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
