i just had sex bonerless
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Farmville is her only friend.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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