The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
