I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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