i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
