how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
