Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
