Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
