It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
