I hope mine doesn't look like that
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
