i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
