So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
