apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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