And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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