My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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