Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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