i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
