Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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