Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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