Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
