on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
