OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
foreskin is a definite game changer
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize