she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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