i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
