Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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