A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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