Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
