lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We have so much sex to catch up on
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
