just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
