I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
