hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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