so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
