Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
