I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
