It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
