I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Randomize
