i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
