I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
