I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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