4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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