Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
