The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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