Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
