32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Randomize
