Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
