You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ๐๐
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I donโt know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
Iโm looking forward to few days of international relations
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